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Critiques and Criticisms

 
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Darenthar
God of Thieves


Joined: 02 Jun 2008
Posts: 561
Weapon of Choice: Rapier and Charm


Location: Ever-Changing Chaos of Limbo

PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 1:29 am    Post subject: Critiques and Criticisms  Reply with quote

Read the Story rules before posting in here. We only accept constructive criticism in here, not flames. Please conduct yourselves accordingly. When posting a critique/comment in here, please indicate the story you are referring to in the subject part of the message. Thank you. -The Management.
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Jason Creiger
Knight


Joined: 30 Jan 2009
Posts: 219



PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alright. For those of you who read my Matrix fanfic, yes it was short. I jumped to the meat, so it wasnt so great. And it also strayed too much to be like Matrix Revolutions. But that was the point, my point was to make it seem like what happened then, and heres why:

Jirards like Smith. So he would act corrupted like the agent Smith was.

Probie was the reincarnation of the chosen one, Neo. He would have Neos powers.

Zion would be mostly destroyed, because Jirard took over, and the agent-spawn would destroy the last city. All humans that arent taken over are dead. By killing Jirard, Probie would be able to regain the human race.

Any questions or comments can and will be answered pertaining to the fanfic.
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Black Widow
Site Admin


Joined: 18 Jul 2008
Posts: 1010
Weapon of Choice: Poison


Location: Hidden in the shadows of my web

PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 1:23 am    Post subject: Shaarthuus...D-day, 1999? Reply with quote

Allen: I've got to say you're a good writer, but I also got to say you're somewhat wordy. I like how you're portraying some of the deities but at the sametime you're making some of them seem too much like the way they were before they became gods(minus Synder and Casade since they weren't some of the original ones).
Bryant agrees with me somewhat and thinks others won't take them seriously when it comes to the power they have because you're portraying them in a silly fashion.
Story is good, don't get me wrong. I like it and can't wait to read more, but I hope the silliness ends soon and the storyline begins.
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Darenthar
God of Thieves


Joined: 02 Jun 2008
Posts: 561
Weapon of Choice: Rapier and Charm


Location: Ever-Changing Chaos of Limbo

PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 5:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, what the Spider Lady said.
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Synderstorm
Site Admin


Joined: 17 Jul 2008
Posts: 360


Location: swimming in a pool of lava, care to join me?

PostPosted: Sat Dec 26, 2009 12:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Spiderwench: And I'm too wordy? Razz

Anyway, I understand where you're getting at...BUT don't worry your spiderrump too much. It's just the beginning and I had to add some humor in before the seriousness was mentioned.

Frybry, PM me with what you're working on for Myst Mountains since you and the spiderqueen talk more then we do.


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"I'm a hot tempered god, don't get me fired up." -Synder

"The storm has risen and ye all shall feel my frozen heart" -Synder's father, Snow Storm
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